wilkey cheese run love eat help

Letter from Dad

Wed, 15 Mar 2006 23:03:10 GMT

"Hi Tom,

Great to hear from you. I also hate smug Austrians, almost as much as
condenscending slavs.

Watch out for the gambling - it's been the ruin of many, an otherwise,
strong man.

Did you get your coat replaced?

I love Jack London - any favorite stories?

Love,
Dad"

God bless you Dad.

Sun, 19 Feb 2006 13:26:43 GMT

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Wilkie!

Wilkie has only one weakness - the colour yellow.
Olive oil was used for washing wilkie in the ancient Mediterranean world.
68 percent of all UFO sightings are by wilkie!
Wilkie can smell some things up to six miles away.
There are roughly 10,000 man-made objects the size of wilkie orbiting the Earth.
The Eskimos have over fifty words for wilkie.
Wilkie can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory.
Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with wilkie.
The international dialling code for wilkie is 672.
Humans have 46 chromosomes, peas have 14, and wilkie has 7.

Mon, 31 Oct 2005 19:04:39 GMT

srcob sucks the oceans dry

the independent republic of carriage

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 01:31:01 GMT

(21:08:14) MayorPony: but
(21:08:36) MayorPony: there's this sign in the kitchen that says dirty dishes will be confiscated
(21:08:46) MayorPony: i assumed it was the housekeeper and was cool with it
(21:08:54) AFlockOfShegulls: hahahah!!!
(21:09:03) MayorPony: because a decree like that from the housekeeper i can understand and respect
(21:09:15) MayorPony: but she just came to my room with a dirty dish
(21:09:22) MayorPony: and asked me if it was mine
(21:09:24) MayorPony: i said no
(21:09:41) MayorPony: and then she told me that it was her that put up the sign, and will be taking peoples dishes
(21:09:51) MayorPony: her name isn't anywhere on the note
(21:10:25) MayorPony: but am i crazy for thinking its really freaking weird for a single person to steal other people's dishes "for the sake of the community"
(21:10:26) MayorPony: ?
(21:10:58) MayorPony: like, she thinks that she is completely justified
(21:11:03) MayorPony: we never had a meeting
(21:11:24) MayorPony: nobody agreed to this arrangement
(21:11:37) MayorPony: it's like she's robin hood

fuck you, mario

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 01:10:30 GMT

today jamie gillespie asked me if i carry a pistol. i don't, but see no reason why i shouldn't. this weird thing is developing where i physically intimidate and menace the stoners. i like where that's going as well. jamie and ned then tore the 15-minute parking signs next to the security shack out of the earth and threw them into the woods.

me and this kid avram seem to be becoming gym buddies. today he taught me how to use the smith machine, and once as he left the water fountain he said to me "It's all yours buddy." he looks as if he'd be more at home in the 1940's and 50's, he has a kind of a "Rat Pack" facial structure thing going on.

harris came into dinner drunk. it was pretty funny to see, but perfectly intelligible. after that, sam and matt were in the library and we shot a little shit. they knocked licorice and came up with gift ideas for my sister's birthday.

talked about sex for a while with miles outside hill house. kid's having a great time. i've let things mellow for long enough; it's about time i got some of that for myself. we realized that my hanging out with miles is unecessary. I can go to wwww.viceland.com and get the basic gist of his company.

smash bros is a great game. had a white russian for the first time last night, in addition to my usual martinis and jack'n'coke. keelan promptly got mind-blowingly trashed and spent the rest of the night talking in french.

future career ideas: minister/reverend, FBI, grain scientist, cinematographer.

weeks toast- 4

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 16:49:05 GMT

Mikhail Tal, the "Magician from Riga"

Tal was an attacking genius at the board. His attacks often looked like sheer madness but later analysis would show that his intuition had been correct. Botvinnik is quoted as having said, " I was surprised by his ability to figure out complex variations. Then the way he sets out the game; he was not interested in the objectivity of the position, whether it's better or worse, he only needed room for his pieces. All you do then is figure out variations which are extremely difficult. He was tactically outplaying me and I made mistakes." Said Botvinnik in an implicit admission of the Latvian’s enormous talent, “If Tal would learn to program himself properly, then it would become impossible to play him.” Replied Tal laughingly many years later, “Botvinnik’s right! When he says such things, then he’s right. Usually, I prefer not to study chess but to play it. For me chess is more an art than a science. It’s been said that Alekhine and I played similar chess, except that he studied more. Yes, perhaps, but I have to say that he played, too.”

Wed, 14 Sep 2005 02:33:42 GMT

and for that matter, why is every girl's room decorated exactly the same?

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 23:27:39 GMT

exactly at what point does something at simon's rock become a "controversy?"

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 18:31:04 GMT

DairyQuest: i just had a very strange experience
Magickmas: Yeah?
DairyQuest: once, in high school
DairyQuest: three fourths of the way through the year
DairyQuest: i stepped up to my locker
DairyQuest: and absolutely could not remember the combination
DairyQuest: i stood there laughing for half an hour
DairyQuest: and it wouldn't come
DairyQuest: then that one time
DairyQuest: when there was the mod meeting
DairyQuest: at 2:00 or some odd time
DairyQuest: that i had missed
DairyQuest: and all of you were waiting for me at the lunch room
DairyQuest: all of you told me that i had been reminded on several different occasions
DairyQuest: but i didn't have in my mind even a single shred of recollection
DairyQuest: not even a whisper
DairyQuest: of those events
DairyQuest: now today
DairyQuest: on the day i was to give a presentation with sophia hoffman, joel cook, and illana
DairyQuest: from the time i got up
DairyQuest: to the time i walked to the DAC
DairyQuest: i was absolutely sure
DairyQuest: in my blood
DairyQuest: that the class started at 2:00
DairyQuest: and i come, and there is a completely different class in there
DairyQuest: and the sheet on the door states that the class had ended five minutes whence
DairyQuest: and i stumbled into barabara resnicks office awestruck
DairyQuest: now how is that for some bullshit?
DairyQuest: there's even evidence
DairyQuest: on my livejournal
DairyQuest: "i gotta read "Antony and Cleopatra" by 2:00. no sweat."
DairyQuest: amazing

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 13:13:20 GMT

apparently someone saw a brown recluse somewhere upstairs. i'm skeptical, but fellows gotta keep their eyes peeled

=/

i gotta read "Antony and Cleopatra" by 2:00. no sweat.

james king is going to teach me how to use a sword.

i'm missing the summertime.

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 05:53:55 GMT

things are pretty weird.

i stayed after class once to talk to my professor and this couple who were in it, formerly having quiet conversation between themselves, starting making out. i just pretended not to notice, although it went on just about longer than you think it would.

a lot of people here talk as if they're on "Gilmore Girls." i've been privy to conversations full of bouncing wit and snappy comebacks that end up sound chillingly scripted. i stay on the periphery of these, because i fear that by clumsily busting in i will ruin the take. its beautiful conversation, in a way, but it reads like a trite modern-day jane austen novel. do they plan these out beforehand? once i leave do they trade high fives? on a similar note there are some people afflicted by what i call "smarterchild syndrome." these are people who talk as if they're in a Turing test all the time. struggling with every sentence to assure you that they are a real person, and try so hard they fail. but these are few and far between. most people just kind of spill their dysfunction all over you.

that's not all true. i like most people. but i've been feeling uneasy a lot. miles dreads demons. i've killed my demons but i dread uncomfortable conversation.

scrawled on my desk, on one support, is written "ALEXIS I LOVE YOU." On the support directly opposite: "MONICA I LOVE YOU."

i got one of those little sheep on my desktop

people in every room but mine are coughing. it has a stereo effect.

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 16:25:12 GMT

For some time past Mary's grave blue eyes had been fixed upon
him. "What have you been writing lately?" she asked. It would
be nice to have a little literary conversation.

"Oh, verse and prose," said Denis--"just verse and prose."

"Prose?" Mr. Scogan pounced alarmingly on the word. "You've been
writing prose?"

"Yes."

"Not a novel?"

"Yes."

"My poor Denis!" exclaimed Mr. Scogan. "What about?"

Denis felt rather uncomfortable. "Oh, about the usual things,
you know."

"Of course," Mr. Scogan groaned. "I'll describe the plot for
you. Little Percy, the hero, was never good at games, but he was
always clever. He passes through the usual public school and the
usual university and comes to London, where he lives among the
artists. He is bowed down with melancholy thought; he carries
the whole weight of the universe upon his shoulders. He writes a
novel of dazzling brilliance; he dabbles delicately in Amour and
disappears, at the end of the book, into the luminous Future."

Denis blushed scarlet. Mr. Scogan had described the plan of his
novel with an accuracy that was appalling. He made an effort to
laugh. "You're entirely wrong," he said. "My novel is not in
the least like that." It was a heroic lie. Luckily, he
reflected, only two chapters were written. He would tear them up
that very evening when he unpacked.

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 18:27:02 GMT

(From "Fat Man: Herman Kahn and the Nuclear Age" by Louis Menand)

Kahn was once called "a thermonuclear Zero Mostel." He is supposed to have the highest I.Q. on record

"On Thermonuclear War" is based on two assertions. The first is that nuclear was is possible, the second is that it is winnable. Most of the book is a consideration, in light of these assumptions, of possible nuclear-war scenarios. In some, hundreds of millions die, and portions of the planet are unihabitable for millenia. In others, a few major cities are annihilated and only ten or twenty million people are killed. Just because both outcomes would be bad on a scale unkown in the the history of warfare does not mean, Kahn insists, that one is not less bad than the other. "A thermonuclear war is quite likely to be an unprecendented catastrophe for the defender," as he puts it. "But an 'unprecendented catastrophe is a far cry from an 'unlimited' one." The opening chapter contains a table titled "Tragic but Distinguishable Postwar States." It has two columns: one showing the humber of the dead, from two million up to a hundred and sixty million, the other showing the time required for econom ic recuperation, from one year up to a hundred years. At the bottom of the table, there is a question: 'Will the survivors envy the dead?"

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 16:17:44 GMT

today is the day i be leaving. music, adventure, and merrymaking will ensue. so lets hear it for
Magical Adventures in Philadelphia

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 02:37:45 GMT

my seventh grade social studies teacher taught me everything i know.

Mr. Koski was a large man who looked like a walrus. he carried around a huge drill bit and slammed it on people's desks whenever he madea point. his eyes were perpetually crossed and bloodshot, he was always dressed in shortsleeves and sported an impeccable crew cut. there was a ferociously surreal quality about the man. he would abruptly run out of the classroom in the middle of a lesson and slam the door shut and we all would hear a muffled scream through the walls.

In these my most awkward and impressionable years Mr. Koski taught me the values of hard work, drilling, and singing. me and my friend marc had to write a song about a steamboat blowing up for something like 50% of our final grade. we then were to sing it together in front of the class to the tune of the "1812 Overture." to a gangly buck-toothed seventh grader a more terrifying assignment probably could not be conceived. in Mr. Koski's eyes of course we were absolutely stunning. a 95. our friends kevin, tim mcauliffe, and jimmy did not fare so well. jimmy played "iron man" on his guitar into a tape recorder and they sang a song called "Steel Man" about Andrew Carnegie. despite the elaborate production values, they got a 75 because tim just stood there didn't sing. Mr. Koski bore a festering grudge against tim for the rest of the year.

on the Mexican Day of the Dead we went on a field trip down the street. down the street there was an old graveyard. mr. koski took us there so that we could appreciate the dead, or appreciate that we weren't dead, or appreciate the tombstones. we arrived and Mr. Koski took a deep breath and said "Now kids....just....look around." it was a sunny day and there were tombstones and moss everywhere. after twenty minutes the field trip was over and we walked back to the school.

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 19:19:33 GMT

Sat, 01 Jan 2005 07:49:05 GMT

a livejournal entry about how're you're sitting trying to write a livejournal entry should never be written

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 06:06:40 GMT

R.I.P wigu R.I.P

probably the only thing on the internet that has consistently kept me interested

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 03:30:09 GMT

<3<3<3 <3<3<3

i am the happiest boy on the face of the planet.

btw

it is signed by J-Ro himself

along with a personally drawn picture of him operating a backhoe at high speeds

i'll let you touch the cover, but i'm the only one who gets to read it

it's my....precious

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 02:43:56 GMT

DairyQuest: fuck thor
DairyQuest: he didn't even need a scret identity
DairyQuest: like, what is he afraid of, that his enemies will go after his family?
DairyQuest: say ODIN, or LOKI?
DairyQuest: like, they're only immortal gods

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
ReelViews (James Berardinelli) review [2.5/4]
Chicago Sun-Times (Roger Ebert) review [2.5/4]
Lee's Movie Info (Lee Tistaert) review [C+]
Film Threat, Hollywood's Indie Voice review [2.5/5]
ShowBIZ Data review [3/5]
Reel.com review [3.5/4]
Harvey S. Karten <harveycritic@cs.com> review [B-]
Steve Rhodes <steve.rhodes@internetreviews.com> review [1/4]
Laura Clifford <laura@reelingreviews.com> review [C]
Christian Spotlight on the Movies review [1/5, 2.5/5]
Entertainment Weekly review [B-]
Greenwich Village Gazette (Eric Lurio) review [1.5/5]
Philadelphia Inquirer review [3.5/4]
The Miami Herald (Rene Rodriguez) review [2/4]
eFilmCritic.com (Peter Sobczynski) review [4/5]
eFilmCritic.com review [3/5]
Newsday review [1.5/4]
d+kaz. Intelligent Movie Reviews (Daniel Kasman) review [B-]
L.A. Daily News review [2.5/4]
Detroit Free Press review [3/4]
One Guy's Opinion (Frank Swietek) review [D]
Boston Globe review [2/4]
Denver Rocky Mountain News (Robert Denerstein) review [C-]

DairyQuest: you know those silica gel things? that say "do not eat?"
DairyQuest: yea i ate some once
DairyQuest: they don't taste like anything, but they kinda break apart
DairyQuest: i would not recommend that you eat any

hey you, america's society of film reviewers. while you're trying so hard to fit your pets into their custom-made bondage gear, you desecrate one of cinemas most brilliant acheivements. i could extensively catalog for you the thousand reasons why this movie is a voice our our generation and every generation. instead i will only list a few.

Albino Dolphin Scouts
Glocks
Pirates
William Dafoe in shorts
Research Turtles

and sharks and helicopters and marine biology, i could go on, but what good will it do you? can't you see that steve zissou's lifestyle itself is grounds for at least a couple oscars? what the hell is wrong with you people? i...i...

i just don't get it.

DairyQuest: and batman was one of my heros
DairyQuest: i used to htink i was batman
DairyQuest: and that i wouldn't get hurt if i flew off of tall buildings
DairyQuest: i almost died lots of times

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 05:19:36 GMT

Ye Olde Google Image Search (i have stolen the idea from maya!)

Thomas Willkens

Wilkey

David Randall

Miles P.

Katie Bradshaw

Patrick Sargent

Sam Gaskin

Chris Dino

Timothy Barwise

Mon, 27 Dec 2004 03:57:47 GMT

today we visited Uncle Chris and Aunt Laura for the first time at their house. we went to their wedding last year (year before?) and they've since moved into a house that was originally built in 1840! Aunt Laura is very interesting and beautiful in an american way. when they showed us the office, we noticed the walls were lined all the way across with ribbons. she told us she was a nationally rated jockey around my age, riding in the competition where the horse jumps the fences. as we went around the house i kept noticing more spare ribbons piled up in random places. nowadays she teaches high-school and college english

uncle chris and my dad were the only ones to "break away" from the family; all the rest of them are still huddled around locke and moravia. i think it's interesting that he, out of all of them, managed to escape. usually my interactions with him have beem just a hello and maybe a quick joke. but he is definitely the most shy of the Willkens clan.

we had finished dinner and were sitting in the living room when laura told us a story about things that happened years ago. she was with her friends at the stables when she saw this guy walking a horse like a dog. the horse kept biting him over and over again but he kept on walking as if he didn't notice. laura and her friends noticed this all through the winter and this guy was chris and he was such a dork and they all laughed at him "what is that guy doing?" and then he kept hanging around, never saying anything, always at a distance and she ignored him, not really knowing what was going on. and finally one time she was going into the stable with a cat in one hand and a bridle in the other when this weird guy came up and kissed her. while she was telling the story, uncle chris kept shifting and protesting louder and louder and around halfway through he ran away the room. when she got to the kiss the phone rang and she picked it up and it was uncle chris yelling "STORYTELLER STORYTELLER!" from the kitchen and she laughed and slammed the phone back down on the reciver.

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 00:03:42 GMT

ME- Where's your brain?
BRIAN- It's in my head!
ME- Where's your heart?
BRIAN- Right here! (pulls up shirt and slaps gut)
ME- No, your heart's right here (taps him where heart is). Right there is where your gut is. Did you know your gut is made of up thousands of little tubes?
COUSIN AMY- Thomas, what are you doing?
ME-I'm telling him about his guts!
COUSIN AMY- He is three years old. Come here brian, awwwww you're such a cuute baby.

LATER
ME- now you have to stash your pieces of eight in a secret compartment so the English Navy never catches on
BRIAN- Do you like pirates?
ME- I love pirates, they're probably the best thing ever
BRIAN- You are my best friend. You can come to my house.

it is interesting to watch the process of a young kid being tamed. all books and child methods are basically finding more efficient ways to tame your kids. and the efficient way to tame a kid is to treat him like a kid, as if he is in some fundamental way different from you, by virture of his kid-ness. but one thing i've noticed is that kids have no stages of development; they have stages we put them through. basically kids shouldn't be treated like kids, but not like how "adults" treat each other. i got strange looks from my relatives treating brian as an "equal playmate." interaction between adults in "adult" contexts is absolutely nauseating: rather than a helpless kid being demeaned, everybody abuses themselves. hell, i still play pirates and soldiers and go exploring with my friends and thats 5000 times less pretending than how adults treat little kids.

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 18:26:33 GMT

bigfoot with an uzi is like a shark stapled to a lion

x400

<3

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 05:48:33 GMT

today me and katie watched "collateral" and read for a few hours before the glorious spectacle of "Greed." this is our family's term for the night before christmas, a time for the family to convene, gorge upon roast beef, and open presents before christmas actually begins. i met my young cousin monica, who, although unable to speak, conveyed brilliant ideas tome through her facial expressions alone. i have met perhaps a dozen people at most more intelligent than her. so after this quintessentially Willkens tradition we returned to the grandparents house and i caught up some more on deleuze and guattari. around midnight i decided to go exploring in the closets and attices, much to the dismay of father. "What exactly is it that you're doing Thomas?" "When was the last time you went exploring dad?" "Just make sure you put everything back." there is no chance of that however, i will find a way to smuggle the stuff out. a huge bulk of my childhood experience and who i am comes from incredible stuff i stole from my grandparents.

hold on

guess what internet! i just met santa!